Dalli's Golden Underwear
by goldeneyes1
Summary: Harry Potter gets stuck in Dalli's golden underwear for a day, see what happens!!


          **Fixed some grammar.

Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine. Blah blah blah blah… However, the story plot is mine. 

            A/N: I got this idea from the golden underwear my teacher received as a present from his students. My friends and I may be making a golden underwear series, so watch out.

Dalli's Golden Underwear

            Harry opened his eyes and saw…white. He turned over and reached for his glasses on the bedside table. After a few seconds of constant blinking, everything came back to him. He had fallen off of his broom after he caught the snitch. There had been a Quidditch match against Slytherin and he was now in the hospital wing for some strange reason.

            Madame Pomfrey quickly walked over when Harry tried to sit up. She pushed him down and said softly, "Harry, rest here for a few hours, then you can go to your friends. They've been quite worried about you and tried to bring your Christmas pr-," she was interrupted by his moans of anger at having missed Christmas and then continued, "presents. However, I decided that it would be more festive if you opened them in a…err… happier environment." She stated, glancing over at another fifth year from Ravenclaw who seemed to be unconscious. 

            Three long hours later he was striding into the Gryffindor common room. Hermione and Ron ran towards him.

            "Harry! You've missed Christmas and the holidays, today is going to be our first day back to class!" screamed Hermione, oblivious to the fact that she was probably waking the whole dormitory as it was still six thirty in the morning. 

            "Harry, your presents, they're still not opened and you've got a ton. Come on," said Ron as he motioned for Harry to follow him up to the boy's dormitory.

            At the foot of Harry's bed lay a few neatly wrapped bundles. He opened them slowly while listening to his friends' description of the events he had missed. Ron gave him a pack of assorted Chocolate frogs and Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans. Harry received a turquoise sweater with an H that changed colors according to his mood and some brownies from Mrs. Wealsey. Hermione gave him a pack of Quidditch cards, which had pictures and facts of different well-known players. Hagrid gave Harry a plate of homemade coffee biscuits. The Dursleys were apparently in a good mood when they sent him his present, which was a peanut. The friends got up to go down to breakfast when the Weasley twins appeared in the doorway. 

            "Hi, Harry. We heard screams and decided to come and see who had been killed. You were great at the match, thanks to you we slaughtered the Slytherins!" said Fred, sporting his mother's hand-made sweater also.

            "Ya, great job Harry. I see you were opening presents," the other twin said while craning his neck to look at the objects on Harry's bed.

            "I just finished and we were headed for breakfast, wanna come?"

            "Of course," answered Fred jovially.

            "Eat? Food? Would I ever refuse? But, you have one more present that you forgot to open," said George pointing to a silver package on Harry's pillow. 

            "I'll just open it later," he said, surprised he hadn't noticed it.

            "Go on Harry, we have time," nudged Hermione.

            Harry walked over to the front of his bed and picked up the shining, flimsy package. He read the card:

                        Dear Harry, 

         Your father left this in my possession before he got married. I figured that you are old enough to enjoy its effects. Use it wisely.

                        -Dalli 

PS. Good job at the match. Your father would have been proud! 

             Harry slowly unwrapped the paper and to his surprise a cloth limply fell out. It was…underwear. But it wasn't normal underwear. Not just a plain color or even one with characters or polka dots. This was worse. And the chuckles he heard behind him seemed to verify his thoughts.  The sun shined through his curtains on a pair of large, shiny, golden underwear. The butt cheeks revealed a black inner cloth. After staring at the undies for a few seconds he turned suspiciously around.

            "Is this supposed to be a joke?" Harry turned from one amused face to another and finally landed on the twins.

            "Harry, it's not us, I swear. It looks like it's really your father's. Try it on," said George, trying desperately to keep a straight face.

            "I'm not trying it on now! You're all watching me." 

            "Fine, then just put it on over your robes, just for a second. For your father," Hermione added sentimentally.

            "Oh all right," and with that Harry slipped the underwear over his robes and looked at himself in the mirror. He was surprised to see that his friends weren't laughing. On the contrary, they seemed impressed by it.

            "Wow, Harry, that's great, I wish I could buy one…can I touch it?" asked Ron, a yearning look on his face.

            "_Touch_ it?! This isn't funny, stop it," screamed Harry, backing away. However, he noticed that his friend was not joking and everyone else in the room seemed to be thinking on the same wave links as Ron. They all approached Harry, pleading and blocking him into the corner.

            "Just once, pleeeease," said Hermione. He knew she wouldn't be involved in a joke of theirs and his friends' need to feel the underwear was very, there was not other word for it, scary.  Before Harry knew what was going on there were 4 hands stroking and pinching his buttocks. But they had sighed in relief and stepped away before Harry could scream or push them off and now seemed to act perfectly normal. 

            "Okay, let's go, we're going to be late if we don't leave now," said Hermione in her usual bossy manner. Harry raised his eyebrow at her. Whatever had just happened he didn't want it to happen again. He reached down, trying to push them off. They wouldn't budge, it was as if they had been glued to his robes. How could he ever show himself?? Walking around with these on would surely please the Slytherins, he'd be the laughing stock of the whole school.

            "Wait!" Harry screamed to the exiting group, "they won't come off!!" he was now struggling with all his strength, but they just got tighter with every movement. He started rolling around on the ground in pain and gave up. All his energy drained and sweating profusely, Harry lay silently on the ground huffing for air. 

            "Oh my god…they're stuck. Well we can't do anything about that now, come on. We're already late for breakfast. Nobody will notice, don't worry," said Hermione seriously and with that Harry was dragged out of the room towards the Great Hall.

            Unfortunately, people _did_ notice and they kept brushing up against Harry and feeling the underwear. It wasn't bad enough, but Ron kept trying to comfort him.

"Look on the bright side. At least it's not a thong…then there would be only one place to touch," Harry stopped in his tracks, "sorry," he started walking again, "Well, it makes people like you, maybe a little too much, but it _is_ a girl catcher. Although, I must admit, I don't understand why your father would enjoy this treatment," Ron added as they entered the Great Hall. Harry seemed to be thinking the same thing. Why would his father want this underwear?

The room went silent. Every face was on him. Most were whispering and pointing with their neighbor as he passed. "Just keep walking, just keep walking, don't look around, we're almost there," Ron kept whispering to Harry, although he had an odd feeling that Ron was trying to comfort himself. He seemed to be just as embarrassed by the whole scene as Harry, but he began to breath again when they reached their seats. Hermione sat on Harry's right side, Ron on his left, and George and Fred in front of him. They were like body guards, ready to attack any mocker, but this did not make Harry feel any better. He could feel eyes boring into his back. 

            The hall filled with noise once more and the Weasley twins kept cracking jokes, trying to make Harry feel better. Harry looked towards the faculty table and was pleased to see that Snape was not there, at least he wouldn't be able to say he saw it with his own eyes. Harry suddenly gasped.

            "SNAPE….we have class with Snape and the Slytherins today," Harry mumbled miserably as he put his pale face into his shaking hands. Ron and Hermione glanced at each other, their faces falling at the thought of what Snape would do to him.      

                                                                    *** 

            "POTTER! WHAT _IS_ THAT?!!" Malfoy screamed as Harry and company walked towards the potions classroom. Apparently, Snape was not in the classroom because the door was locked and the whole class stood outside. The minutes droned on and the Slytherins milked all they could out of the whole incident. To Harry's horror, they always managed to come close enough to brush up against the undergarment before commenting on his choice of dress. After Malfoy's comment, his mind started spinning and all the remarks whirled together, the owners unknown.

             "Did the muggles give it to you? Thought you'd show off a bit, ehh? You'll never get the ladies with that, Potter! Are you changing sex on us? I know! It was your little mudblood _girlfriend's _present to you…"  

Every passing second Harry prayed that Snape would never come. Even though and Ron and Hermione were trying to defend him, the remarks were terrible. They would never be able to stop Snape from having the time of his life. He kept on praying. Please don't come. Please don't come. Please don't come. No luck. A figure in billowing black robes walked towards the classroom, a smirk already planted on his face. They entered the room and sat down.

Snape looked around the classroom, his cold eyes landing on Harry. 

"I see our little celebrity has decided to start a new trend. Potter, you may want to try something a bit more conservative next time. Do try not to ruin everyone's eyes with your foul body and give the whole school nightmares for a year." Snape's talking was slow and soft. When he stopped he waited a minute for the Slytherin laughter to die down, then began the class. That was not all the attention Harry received in Potions, after every ingredient a new comment was made. However, the worst thing happened as Harry was leaving. Snape was in the doorway and as Harry approached, Snape walked straight into him…and felt. Then he backed up and raised his voice with a hint of amusement. 

"Potter, watch where you're going. Ten Points off Gryffindor and next time it will be twenty."

"YOU RAN INTO ME YOU PERVERT!!!!!!!" Harry couldn't take it anymore, the day's incidents ran through his head and he wanted to hurt something…someone…anything…Snape. Snape was taken aback, but quickly retaliated.

"What did you call me Potter?" he answered in his silkiest, most loathsome voice ever.

"I called you a PERVERT." Harry's yell wasn't as loud the second time, but his voice carried into the hallway to passing students.

"Come with me," Snape spat as he grabbed Harry's arm and dragged him out the door, tightening his grip each time he took in a breath. They were headed towards Dumbledore's office, but Harry didn't care. He would tell him what was happening and they would figure something out. Maybe Snape would even get fired for touching a student like he did…that is if Dumbledore believed him. They reached the Gargoyle.

"Snapper Crackers"

Up the stairs…to the door…a knock…a jovial "come in"…they were there.

"Ahh, Severus, Harry," Dumbledore nodded to them both, a warm smile on his face, "I've been expecting you both. Please sit down."

"Headmaster. This boy," Snape pushed Harry through the door as he go of his arm, "has no respect. He ran in-" 

"You ran into me and then..then" but Harry never got the chance to say what exactly Snape did. He stopped talking when the headmaster put his hand up to silence them both. 

"Surely, gentlemen you will agree with me that you have had the most peculiar day, to say the least?" They both nodded in their seats and Dumbledore continued, "Harry, I'm sure you know that the undergarment you are wearing is an heirloom from your father?" he didn't wait for an answer, but turned his gaze to Snape, who was throwing daggers at Harry, "Severus you have obviously noticed that it has an interesting side effect on the viewer. That golden underwear has an old piece of magic in it. When worn, the public gets an intense craving to feel and rub the fabric. That is all. Do you both understand?" They both nodded. This certainly straightened some things out and Snape looked utterly relieved.

"Well then, I believe there is a class waiting for you Severus. Have a nice day." Dumbledore turned to Harry, "I think you'll enjoy this. Follow me, please. I'll explain on the way." They both stood and walked out the door. As they passed through the corridors Dumbledore talked.

"Dalli was a friend of your father's here at Hogwarts. However, he was no regular student. He was a house elf that wanted to get an education, not just work all his life. He was a bit like Dobby. Well, if I am correct, your father was a bit afraid of the underwear. He put it on many times by mistake when he was in a hurry and got the intended effect, so before leaving Hogwarts he decided to give them to Dalli. Dalli had always loved them. They don't come off till dark, so it reminded him that he was lucky to be a free house elf with friends. After he received his education, Dalli decided to work. However, he had trouble finding a job and asked if he could work at Hogwarts. Of course, I agreed." Harry looked up and saw Dumbledore tickling a pear. They had arrived at the kitchens.

"Sirs, you need something sirs?" All the house elves ran over at the sight of Dumbledore and the boy. He smiled.

"May I speak to Dalli?" Dumbledore inquired politely. A little green elf appeared in front of the elf that Harry recognized to be Dobby. 

"Sir, you called for me? Ohh, it's Harry Potter! And he's wearing the goldies!" Tears were rolling down the elf's cheeks in happiness. 

"Yes, I just wanted to show him one of his father's best friends from school." At these words Dalli's tears grew and his sobs became greater.

"James…was…a … great …man." The little elf wiped his glowing eyes and walked over to Harry. He took the young wizard's great hands into his own and shook them, a smile appearing on his face as he said, "You look like James."

                                                            ***

Twenty minutes later Harry was back in his room, where the nightmarish day had begun. In a way Harry was happy he got the goldies, as everyone else called them, stuck on himself. He met his father's friend, scared Snape, and got a pinch from Cho as she walked by him. Harry smiled as he pushed off the underwear with ease, put on his pajamas, and climbed into bed. Some adventures were more humiliating than dangerous, he thought to himself. As he drifted of into sleep, Harry knew that tomorrow would mean Slytherin field day, but he didn't care. Now that Harry knew that they all had gotten a yearning to feel him…he had retribution to any comment.

Harry woke up the next morning to a high-pitched scream. He sat up to see what was going on. Neville was wearing the golden underwear…

A/N  Please Review!! Make me happy and press the button below! I'm getting down on my hands and knees, kissing your feet, and pleading. K, I'm done. Hope you all liked it.


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